Why men date other marrieds?
Talk about a loaded issue that no one wants to talk about, that’s it. Amusing thing, extramarital affairs have been going on since ancient times. Extramarital affairs can be burdened with evils, cause misery, and other problems. In addition you must wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness issue, money, age difference, spiritual background, shame, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I will identify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating married women.
Why do men have affairs? There are as many answers as there are man seeking woman for affair. I think mostly though it is just the human nature, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
In nature we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and exciting, and sex makes us flee the real world for a short period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Somebody can switch the desire on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos culture has erected against married dating. For lots of people the yearnings will defeat their fears and make them risk the wrath of not only their relatives, but society as well. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, maybe some of us are. Sex is awfully good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your family or anyone else? You would need to reduce the threat you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest grouping, colossal truly. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, apart from they are comfy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the children to consider. Your assets are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be as a family besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them implementing the sex performance, at least not with their spouse. An extra-marital affair occasionally solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage whole.
Avoidance, sadly this is a frequent cause I fear. One or the other, as a rule the man is sexually neglecting his female for a multitude of reasons. As a male I truly am thankful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them available to us men of romance, making them “milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, could be caring is gone, maybe it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have just developed distantly, our relulas concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is contradictory of what you want. Maybe I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for economic gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.